“Its getting heavy I think I’m bout ready to break down. Im standing up…but I’m falling down. Time keeps on ticking I wish there was a way to slow it down…someone pick me up…cause I’m falling down”
–Chris Brown, Falling Down
I am Shug Avery. I am Monae Loray. I am streets. I am college educated. I want everything out of life, but at the same time…I just want to be happy. I know I’m not crazy, but sometimes I feel as if people aren’t honest about being pulled between their dreams and whatever it is that is their reality.
My dream you ask? Other than pissing folks off with my smart mouth and hoping to acquire stocks in Frenchy’s AND Rudy’s chicken? My dream is a to be a Singer/Songwriter/Actress who not only entertains, but educates. I know me and my personality well but I also have a lot to say about the woes of the world. My reality…I haven’t seen that in years since I put it in God’s hands and started walking with a blindfold holding HIS hand. I see my dreams every day while I pay my dues. TBH (to be honest for my non texters and IG game players) the fame aspect isn’t the biggest attraction for me. I just feel that my talents should make way for me to be secure and successful. What I would want to be a reality is all that I dream as well as my happiness. I want a partner (husband…eh. Partner, yes), I want children, I want to be able to go out to eat and not worry if I dipped into light bill money, dammit I want it all. I’m not being greedy (unless there’s pulled pork in front of me, then its every man for…naw, I’m lying, ITS ALL MINE!!!) in no shape, form, or fashion…I…I expect the best of life (God said it, not me) and that’s what I’m hoping for. I just don’t know if that will be my reality due to the fact that…I haven’t been in reality for years now. I’m not crazy…I’m just a little unwell, ya know?
Hey, but at least I’m honest about how I feel. Shug just wants to be happy and at peace. When I get it…I’ll know. Then maybe I can say that my dreams and reality were all one in the same? Who knows…
Miracles and Blessings.