There’s never really an outlet for DJs to get a chance to harp on the things that really get on our nerves. While we enjoy what we do…there are obvious annoyances that we tend to deal with but professionally can’t speak out on –UNTIL TODAY. So here I am to expose the most aggravating things your DJ hates.

 

1. Stupid Ass Song Requests

There are so many different levels to this song request shit that need to be addressed. If you’re just asking to hear a song and leave a tip…fine. Some of y’all, however, take it way too far. For example:

I’m doing a complete high energy mix that has every ass in the club bouncing and you request some off-brand ass song like Drake’s “Just Hold On We’re Going Home”. Look here ass-clown, the event I’m DJing will not be catered just to you. I’m sorry. You didn’t pay enough to get in here and have that type of control.

–  Requesting the same song multiple times. If I did not play your song at the time of your request, it simply means I’m computing a way to incorporate your song into my mix that would be appropriate. You might fail to realize that there’s an art to bringing in music and you just need to be patient.

– Requesting a song that’s been played more than once. I’m sorry but if I’ve been DJing an event and you just arrived at the end of it and you want to hear a particular song that I don’t feel like playing again…then you just won’t hear it.  That’s why you should get to an event earlier so you can enjoy all of the different songs I’ve played throughout the evening.

– Requesting a song and not reacting to it. A majority of the time, DJs will not play a song because he already knows how the reception of it will be. If you come up to a DJ to specifically ask for a song, don’t waste the DJs time playing it if you’re just going to go and walk off or just sit there or “turn up” for .8 seconds just to realize how lame of an ass you are for liking the song you requested.

– The “I betchu ain’t got” Guy – This is the guy that wants to challenge your musical library by requesting some of the most ridiculous songs just to see if you are a “real DJ” (seeing that you really are a DJ and they are just a person who listens to music).  He’s the one that will go “man, you ain’t really no good DJ if you ain’t got _____ in your rotation. You don’t got it?! Ahhhh mannn… you too young for that song right there, nah!”

2. Touching My Shit – Just don’t touch my shit. You will mess up my mix by being a little “Curious George.” Plus, you wouldn’t want to pay to fix it if you damaged it.

3. Being In A DJ’s Personal Space – I understand that some people just want to be seen next to the DJ at events and that’s cool.  Just have enough respect to give the DJ enough space to comfortably work and do what the DJ needs to do. Some of you get way too close or want to get rolled up RIGHT NEXT to the DJ. No. It’s not that serious. Take your “I wanna be seen” ass to the dance floor and enjoy that away from the person providing you with the possible experience.

4. Speaker Blockers  – For all you cool asses who need a place to stand and like to post up right in front of the speakers like that shit isn’t blasting your eardrums out of place, you are basic-bred.  Not only are you doing harm to yourself, you are relocating the direction of sound at the event. One solution: move.

5. The Conservatives – There’s almost nothing more annoying to me than someone who didn’t pay for you to DJ but always has a complaint about “all the cursing” that comes from the songs you play.  I understand that your moral values might conflict with the music that you wasn’t apart of selecting, but I assure you that nobody else truly cares as much.  Just ignore it and enjoy the music or remove yourself. Or pray (for me and my secular musical choices). Whichever one works best.

6. Dumbass Questions – I’m pretty sure this is a normal pet peeve within society but it crescendos when it has entered the DJing realm.  It is important to keep your focus on what you’re doing with anything, but it’s easy to get thrown off when you hear questions such as:

– “Can you teach me how to DJ? I wanna learn right now”

– “Could you turn it up? This is my song!”

– “Hey bro…what’s the name of this song? What? I can’t hear you!”

– “Do you hate when people come up to you and ask you questions while you’re DJing?”

– “Can you get her to come and dance with me, bro?”

I don’t want part in your stupidity.

7. The Fake DJ Friend – This happens to be that person that comes to the event to front as if he knows you personally on a level that nobody else seems to have had the chance to experience.  It’s the person that comes in all loud and flamboyant just to create some forced attention their way.  Once they make their way around the event they’re all grabbing on your shoulders and trying to let people know how amazing you are of a DJ and how long they’ve been “fucking” with you. Asking to buy drinks and blah blah when in reality you just met this guy.  Don’t be that guy.  Keep it funky and just be cordial if anything.  All that extra is unnecessary.

8. The Lurker Observer – This is the person who wants to see what you’re doing in a lowkey manner. This is the person that you can’t help but catch all the time in your peripherals lurking on the process of you DJing.  It’s cool if you want to see what’s going on but don’t be a creep about it. You can just ask to observe and I’m sure the DJ wouldn’t mind. Just don’t be all over the DJ’s shoulder without some type of consent.

9. The Table Twerker– I slightly spoke on this person earlier in my second point but I had to bring this back for the level of importance that this holds.  DO NOT GET ROLLED UP ON THE DJ’S TABLE. You are putting all of the DJs equipment at risk due to your inability to hold your own while that ass is throwing itself in a circle.  If you need moral support from a table, find one away from the vicinity of the DJ.  Some venues might even have railing systems installed for such activities. Just don’t do it on the DJ’s table. That’s disrespectful.  Plus all that table shaking is bound to mess up the DJ.

10. The Aspiring Artist – I understand how important it is for you as an artist to build relationships with DJs, but there’s a time and place for everything.  Trying to establish a relationship WHILE the DJ is in the middle of DJing is not one of those times.  You can always meet a DJ at the beginning of his gig or end to talk to him about your music and stuff of that nature.  Also, don’t assume that the DJ is supposed to play your song just because you’ve talked to him and given him your music. The DJ owes you nothing.  No experienced DJ will just put a song in rotation that they’ve never heard before and probably wouldn’t even want to after they’ve had the chance to hear it.  Save the DJ some embarrassment and just email him the song. One more thing, if you’re going to give a DJ a track, don’t do it with a CD. That’s so obsolete. Have your music on a flash drive so that the transfer of music is quite simple. CDs take longer to load and have more potential of skipping when it’s time to play it.  Then you have to rip the song off of the CD and that whole process is just tedious and annoying.  It’s real simple:

1. Get the DJ’s contact email.

2. Send him your music either before or after the event (via email or flash drive).

3. Let that DJ do what he wants with the song.

You should probably ask for him to critique it as well so you can go back and make a better song because 9 times out of 10, if you have to go and give a DJ your music then it’s not at the level it needs to be at.

 

11. Mic Requests  – Just because you can locate a microphone near the DJ doesn’t grant you access to be able to yell some unrehearsed poppycock out to an audience who doesn’t really care what you have to say.  Don’t ask to use the mic.  There’s no true purpose for you to speak on it.  It’s there for MCs, hosts and important announcements.  Not you to yell some idiotic non-sense caused by your alcohol intake.  Go and be drunk inaudibly.

 

Hopefully, now you understand on a deeper level how to not be a nuisance to your DJ at an event.  As your DJ, we are the ones who are working to make sure you have a good time with our talents. At the end of the day, we are also human beings and we’d like to be treated as such.  Show us the respect we need and you’ll enjoy your evening a lot more. I promise.

 

Interested in DJ AudiTory‘s work? Check out his site at DJAudiTory.com